From Counts to Cunts: Hungarian Nobility and Contemporary Tourism in Romania

The status of the post-WWI Hungarian nobility in Romania has been subject to innumerable and neverending debates; as the Paris Treaties of 1919–1920 have reconfigured Central Europe’s borders, the Hungarians were confronted with the dismberment of what they fancied as their nation’s territory (in truth, tributary to their Austrian overlords) and the rounding up of the territories of new nation states, such as Yugoslavia, Slovakia, or Romania.

As to the fate of the Hungarian population of these newly created or newly increased countries, it was only natural that it had to be decided by an independent and more capable body, uninvolved politically in the petty affairs and/or rivalries of the nations concerned. Thus, a common, international solution was to be imposed: the trials of the Hungarian Optants, enforced by a neutral body, the Paris Arbitration Court.

The deal was clear and easy enough to understand even for the decrepit Central European aristocracy: you could either keep a part of your estate as a citizen of the newly recognized state, or you could go to Hungary and be compensated for your loss (both in real estate and pride) in solid gold.

The second option was favoured by the Hungarian nobility residing in Romania, only to be fraudulently questioned after the year 2000, by fictionally invoking a confiscation (or “nationalization”) by the communist authorities, which in reality came into power in 1945, almost 20 years after the Hungarians had willingly given up their lands and titles to the Romanian state!

In brief, this is the story of all the “Hungarian castles” posing as posh destinations for credulous tourists. With the help of complacent and complicit (as in: corrupt) Romanian authorities (both judiciary and administrative), they have illegally reconstituted the domains freely abandoned by their alleged ancestors, only to turn them into them unkempt, mediocre, but instagrammable and overpriced, tourist resorts.

Thus, the former Hungarian Grofs, which translates as “Counts”, turned into the absolute CUNTS of Romanian tourism, sucking much more than the blood of the hip and ignorant.

To be avoided at all costs.


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